i thought i would get to this post sooner but it seems like i never have enough time in the day to get everything i want to do done. this past weekend we had wyldlife weekend at rockbridge. as always it was crazy, how can it not be? it was exciting, and although i've been there so many times this weekend felt new and different. it's cool how during the different seasons in our life we learn different things. in the past camps i've been to i usually was one of many voices to give input, but never actually made the decision. however this weekend that all changed. i was now making decisions on which girls to put in which cabin, when to go to bed, rules for the cabin-if any(and just to clairfy i did have other girls to help me, this year was different though becuase my opinion was now weighted more heavily than in the past)...haha but if you know me at all you know i'm not good at making decisions...at some points it was really hard. a few of the girls in my cabin were not very nice to each other and at times i felt that i had to be the mom (which i didn't like at all). but i also got to have some great conversations with girls who wanted to learn more about real life and where to find it. the weekend was too short, i wish we could have stayed longer. the girls are so precious to me. i'm so thankful for what the Lord has going on in our lives. i learned a lot about leading this weekend. i got to build deeper relationships with the girls and this is just the beginning of it all, now i get to walk along side them in their relationships growing together, and falling more deeply in love with our creator. dang, it's gonna be sweet. it was a good weekend.
on a heavier note, this past weekend a boy in my grade took his own life. although i did not personally know him, we've gone to the same school for 12 years now and were in some of the same classes. ryan was in my pyschology class this year. he was quiet and didn't say much, however our teach mrs. newbern (she's crazy and loves making jokes) could manage to get us all laughing atleast once a day. to be honest, i never noticed ryan sitting alone. i never noticed that he was very quiet and pulled back. i thought it was just his personallity. but it wasn't. he had feelings building up inside that one day came up. i hate that he felt the only way for things to get better would be to commit suicide. i can't imagine things being that bad. but for ryan, he thought they were. i have a lot of questions, that will probably never have answers. its tough thinking that someone so close in distance to you can be so far from how you think they are doing. it makes you realize though that you never know what's going on inside someone else unless you ask, unless you reach out. it kills me that we missed out on that opportunity for ryan. his passing motivates me to step out of my comfort zone, reach out to ones that may seem "unreachable", share who i am living for and the hope i have in Him. it could make all the difference in someones life. praying for the ryan's family and friends.
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