lately i've been thinking a lot about my future. what college i'm going to go to/what i want to do when i grow up. that kind of stuff. i guess since kate's applying for colleges its really got me thinkin too even though i still have 2 years left. but anways i use to always want to be a teacher. i thought it was the perfect job for me-i love love being around kids and to be with them everyday for a year teaching them and watching them grow would be so cool. however, last year when i got more involved in younglife my dream of being a teacher faded. and being on staff (for younglife) came about. soon that became my dream-be able to build relationships with high school/middle school kids and really just loving on them. showing them christ as much as i can. i love leading wyldlife-such a big blessing. but then i got the idea of well maybe i'm being too close minded, younglife isn't the only way i can show christ to others and make a difference. so i started thinking about other passions i had. like i said i love kids. i went on a mission trip to costa rica last spring break (literally the best trip ever-i'll blog about that at some point) and by far one of my favorite times there was being able to hang out/love on the kids there. they needed it, desired it, and definitely deserved it. so the idea of doing missions work or starting a christian orphanage came into my mind. yeah it sounds crazy, big, and just some unrealistic dreams and i soon shot those ideas down. thinking i could never start something like that. however i was reading Isaiah 40-its Comfort for God's people. and in it, it says-starting at vs 12:
Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,
or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,
or weighed the mountains on the scales
and the hills in a balance?
Who can fathom the Spirit of the LORD,
or instruct the LORD as his counselor?
and later on says says (starting at vs 26)
Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one
and calls forth each of them by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.
and reading this really made me think about how big our god is. it's hard to fathom it. and it's crazy to think about it-especially with this passage in mind. He who puts the stars out one by one and knows each of their exact places in the night sky. so with that i've been realizing that nothing is too big for god. and nothing is impossible with Him. i worry/doubt a lot, it's where my type A personality comes out but i shortly look back on the situation, problem, circumstance that i was in when i was worrying or doubting and laugh for how silly or small it is. it's cool to think that we have a god that can literally handle all of our problems. he's bigger than every single one of them. it's definitely reassuring. so i was thinking about what i want to do when i'm older and honestly i have no clue anymore with all the ideas that have been going through my head. and i think that's okay-which is really big for me to say considering i love having things planned. so whatever the plans may be for me-whether it be teaching in school, being a younglife staff leader, traveling in the mission field or even starting an orphange in another country i know that the lord will be with me. using me. he's got all my days mapped out and i'm just enjoying the ride.
who knows maybe i'll end up somewhere i never expected. i think a lot of the time our plan and His plans for us don't match. the lord could have something entirely different in store for us while we are set in our comfortable ways of life. and that can be really scary but it's so cool to see how much He works in our lives.
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